Imagine Golf Blogs

Great golfing one-liners

Brighten up your day by reading some of these memorable golf quotes

Posted Feb 06, 2012 by Jeff Dawson

Golf is often the protagonist for humour, often at the expense of oneself, and today, we thought it would be good to bring you some of the most memorable quotes and one-liners the sport has ever heard. If you know of any we’ve missed, feel free to add your thoughts by placing a comment at the bottom of the page. Remember that as golfers we all need a sense of humour as it can be, perhaps, the most infuriating game/sport known to man. Without this humour, millions of us would certainly not be walking the fairways every week dreaming of that one perfect round or shot that we can speak of for years. We hope you enjoy these as much as we did...

Golf is a game in which you yell 'fore', shoot six and write down five.Paul Harvey

Golf is a game who's aim it is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose.Winston Churchill

Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.Bob Hope

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. – Bob Hope

The harder you work, the luckier you get. – Gary Player

Golf is a good walk spoiled. – Mark Twain

Golf is an easy game... it's just hard to play. – Anonymous

The fun you get from golf is in direct ratio to the effort you don't put into it. – Bob Allen

Golf is a game where guts and blind devotion will always net you absolutely nothing but an ulcer.Tommy Bolt

The golf swing is like sex. You can't be thinking about the mechanics of the act while you are performing.Dave Hill

When I'm on a golf course and it starts to rain and lightning, I hold up my one iron, 'cause I know even God can't hit a one iron. – Lee Trevino

I'm hitting the woods just great, but I'm having a terrible time getting out of them.Harry Tofcano

It took me seventeen years to get 3,000 hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course. – Hank Aaron

You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.
Lee Trevino (again!)

Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at. Jimmy Demaret

Fifty years ago, 100 white men chasing one black man across a field was called the Ku Klux Klan. Today it's called the PGA Tour.Unknown

The people who gave us golf and called it a game are the same people who gave us bag pipes and called it music. – "Silk Stockings" TV Show

The first time I played the Masters, I was so nervous I drank a bottle of rum before I teed off. I shot the happiest 83 of my life. – Chi Chi Rodriguez

And one more from Chi Chi Rodriguez:

After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.

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